Wednesday, October 09, 2013

Top 10: Things badgers can't move

The badger cull is not going well. And you know whose fault that is, right? Yep, badgers. Accused of moving the goalposts after seeking time extensions to kill the minimum required numbers, environment secretary Owen Paterson said "I am not moving anything - the badgers are moving the goalposts.
With that in mind, here are the top ten things badgers can't move:

10. Any mountain

9. It

8. A piano

7. India's intransigent position on using the DRS

6. You to tears

5. Like Margot Fonteyn

4. Like Jagger

3. It's money to an offshore tax haven

2. On from lost love

1. Goalposts

Friday, October 04, 2013

How do you feel?

How do you feel?

It's a simple enough question.

What I want to say is;
I ache.
Not physically, but every time I think, it hurts.
I feel empty.
I've nothing left to give.
My self-confidence is shot to bits.
I constantly question my own abilities in all walks of life.
I haven't slept properly in months, maybe years.
Going outside is scary.
People bother me.
Some days I wake up with a crushing sensation in my chest, pinning me down in bed.
I fly off the handle at the smallest thing, sometimes at nothing.
What I portray as sarcasm is often the bitterness I actually feel within.
I can't concentrate.
Can't focus.
Tasks which used to be simple aren't any more.
I want to kick things
Because anger is all I've got now
And violence is the only way I can think to express it.
My attention span has reduced to...
Nothing makes me happy any more.
Things I used to do for fun bore me, feel like chores.
I've no drive, no enthusiasm, no energy.
I hate getting older.
I hate being me.
I hate everything.
I feel so alone, even in a big group of people,
Even surrounded by people who I know care about me.
I want to run away, hide and cry.
And I know it's irrational - that's the most frustrating thing.
I know it becomes self-fulfilling,
That believing it will get worse will ensure that it does.
And I can't stop it,
Can't just switch it off and back on again.

But that's a bit much, so instead I reply;
I'm OK - just a bit tired.