Thursday, November 03, 2011

All-purpose article for the local rag

This is one of dozens of articles such as this that have appeared in the local rag since the last general election. Here's another. And so on. Etc. So far, so banal.
In the interests of helping out - kindly soul that I am, call me Mr Big Society - I thought the Examiner could use a cover-all article to insert into their pages whenever Jason McCartney pops his head out to say hello. So here it is:

Colne Valley MP Jason McCartney visited a local pub/petting zoo/football match today to show his support
for/condemn cuts to services. "It's heartening/disgusting to see these hard-working families/layabouts doing so
much/little for the local community" said the former Calendar newsreader.

"I'm here at this church fete/disused warehouse/pie shop to totally support/denounce the latest proposals coming from Whitehall. Local people do/don't need a civil servant to decide what's best for them" he continued as he tried on a fireman's helmet/had yet another photo taken. "But one thing is clear; striking/protesting is not the answer".

"He was on the telly, so I voted for him", said one local resident.

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