Sunday, January 31, 2010


I'm not one for New Years resolutions. I don't think I've ever made one, or at least if I have, I can't remember ever having done so. The fact I'm making this one a whole month into the year means it's not a whim, something I have no chance of succeeding with. I've thought about this.

I've long been concerned with the amount of food the British public chucks out. I'm sure I heard one report that said we chuck away a third of the stuff we buy. That sounds a bit high, but it points out an area we can all do better in. Last week, we got a very good value pack of 24 bread rolls. With no room in the freezer, they had to stay out until room could be found. This morning, I had to chuck 19 of them away, so covered in mould are they. This is not on. I hereby resolve to chuck as little as possible away and compost that which I have to.

Check back a year from now to see how it's going.

Friday, January 29, 2010


Ashley Cole, professional obnoxious footballer, has been banned from driving and handed a £1000 fine after being found guilty of driving at over 100mph in a 50mph zone. Cole's barristers have asked for 21 days for him to pay.

Now, in his not-very-much feted autobiography, Cole describes how Arsenal's offer of £60,000 per week - up from his previous deal of £55,000 - caused him to almost swerve off the road when his agent told him about it, reacting with the phrase "they're taking the piss". He subsequently moved to Chelsea, presumably for many more used fifties per week.

So, even at the £60,000 per week he claimed was a piss-take, it would take him three hours, seven and a half minutes to earn £1000 (assuming a 37.5 hour week, 5 days per week). So why the 21 day request (which barristers did laugh at, according to that report)?

I expect a question along these lines to be on the next maths GCSE

The fabric of the universe is in peril

Tony Blair - remember him? - is to give evidence today to the Chilcott inquiry. Prior to the event, the front page of the Guardian says that Blair is expected to defend the actions leading to war thusly: even though Saddam Hussein didn't have weapons of mass destruction, had the US and UK backed down from military threats, he would have been emboldened to acquire them.
This simply does not add up and represents a twist in logic so severe that it could rip a hole in the space-time continuum that places the entirety of the universe in extreme peril. This man must be stopped.