Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Andy Murray

I've been out of the country for a few days, but can I safely presume that Andy Murray is back to being Scottish now?

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

The rise and fall of the fall and rise...

It seems that UK Gold has been rebranded, unless G.O.L.D. is a completely new thing. Anyway, I chanced upon't the other day whilst at a loose end and settled down for a couple of episodes of the iconic Fall And Rise of Reginald Perrin. It's brilliant. It was then and it is now. Leonard Rossiter was fantastic, the writing sharp and I'm eternally grateful to my dad for letting me watch it when I was a kid.
And now I hear it's to be remade. With Martin Clunes. Nothing is sacred.

Another series that was supposed to be remade recently was The Prisoner. Utterly bonkers, but I love it. Sadly, Patrick McGoohan has died today. For shame.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Dear Iggy Pop

What the hell happened? Are things so bad that you had to take that swiftcover ad? These straitened times must really be biting in the Pop household.
Where's you dignity man?

Friday, January 09, 2009

In 2008 I...

...didn't hear Paul McCartney's 'Simply having a wonderful christmas time' at all. Not even once. I claim the record and hope to make it back-to-back abomination-free years.

Literal algebra

If no win = no fee, then it follows that win = fee.
I think all ambulance chasers should be forced to add an extra line to their adverts. When they say 'no win, no fee', they must add 'win, fee'. Simple algebraic logic.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

That's Conference!

Despite the economic doom, gloom and gloomy doom, £20m still buys you a lot of stuff. It buys you almost all of Robbie Keane, for one. As the following video shows, especially the misses at 0:30 and 1:28, that means it buys you a striker who, at the moment at least, would look out of place in any league side.



Robbie Keane. That's Conference!
Meanwhile, York keeper Michael Ingham shows you what Conference football is really all about. Which is great because he's actually one of the better keepers in the division. He's a full international.

Had an accident in the last six months?

Many years ago on long-since-defunct comedy website jinx.co.uk, they ran a series of spoof adverts. One favourite was for Macaulay Culkin's financial products for straight mortgage owners. The Home Alone no homo home owner loan. And there was the one pictured on the left here.

Well yes, I have had an accident. Within the last three weeks, in fact. The latter point does apply to me, but, sadly, it wasn't my fault, so despite Billy Murray's pleadings on any cable channel at least three times per ad break, Injury Lawyers 4 You will remain unphoned by me, whether they're real lawyers or not. Oh, and what does '100% lawyers, 100% compensation' even mean? I digress.
Travelling between hostelries on a recent Saturday night, I waved at a mate who was on the other side of the road, diverting my attention from the path I was travelling in - a path that was shortly to collide with a wall. I hit said wall, my glasses smashed and sliced my face to bits. There goes the Armani contract... I refuse to blame drink. I wasn't looking where I was going and even then, if my glasses hadn't shattered then there'd not have been a problem.
A trip to Huddersfield A&E was followed by a trip to Bradford maxilo-facial unit to get it all put back together. Here's a picture taken at A&E by the missus who was almost too patient with me. I think this will be my first album cover.
The stitches (12) came out last week, leaving a scar like an inverted F just under my right eye. It's a mess, but considering how close to my eye it was and how hard my cheekbone slammed into the wall, it could have been much, much worse.

Ninja Warrior

We all remember the completely brilliant episode of Doctor Who that was Blink, don't we? I'll take that as a yes. Well it's not just weeping angels you want to be scared of. Try ninja warrior cats: