Thursday, December 21, 2006

Dear Christmas revellers...

We both know you don't really drink for 363 days of the year, with just your birthday and christmas set aside for getting completely rat-arsed. I can generally cope with the fact you're an amateur drinker who can get in the way of a serious professional at this festive time, but if there's any chance that you could just restrain yourself a little? Your system isn't trained to cope with this sudden, massive intake of booze and is very likely to result in some projectile vomiting, such as the five examples I encountered on the 20-minute walk from house to station this morning.
Bit of advice: when you feel yourself getting squiffy, try slowing down the rate of intake. When you start seeing double, stop. Don't get into rounds - drink at your own pace. Nobody will think less of you. Basically don't be a fricking idiot and please, please, please don't spew in areas where I'm likely to be walking in a few hours time.

All the best for the festive season
John

2 comments:

Henry Bolingbroke said...

As a proper drinker once said to me, I'll be glad when January 2nd comes round and we can get back to some serious drinking in peace.

John_D said...

All hail to that person. They speaketh wise words.