Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Bishop on a beer scooter

The Bishop of Southwark's having a rough old time of it. On leaving a drinks reception at the Irish embassy (I'll not stoop to stereotyping the Irish nation here, tempting though it may be) it initially appeared that he'd been mugged. This was quickly scotched by police as evidence emerged he may just have been pished.
Today, he was on the radio protesting his innocence and how he couldn't possibly have been drunk. Frankly, his evidence just doesn't stack up. What is not in doubt is that he has a bump on the head, is missing a mobile phone and can't remember a lot. "My injuries are compatible with being mugged", he said. Yes, your grace, but not remembering large chunks of an evening, losing personal items and waking up with mysterious cuts and bruises is, in my extensive experience, entirely compatible with being rather drunk.
He also claims that it would be impossible for an inebriated person to get home in the manner he apparently did, saying "I defy anyone who had too much to drink to make that journey". But we've all done it - one minute you're in the pub, next thing you wake up on top of your bed, fully clothed and dribbling a bit with no idea how you got there. It's the well known beer scooter effect.
The Bishop just isn't making it any better for himself. I'm sure his flock would have a lot more respect for him if he'd just come out sand say 'Look. I had a few. I banged my noggin' on something and lost my phone. Sorry.'

No comments: